really exhausted for the past month, mentally, emotionally and physically. sometimes i wonder, what is the purpose of me working so hard? what is it that i'm hoping to accomplished? who am i doing it for? working without a specific goal is like walking into a dessert, wondering when will i ever see a green lush of tree with a stream of blue river. sounds emo? i think so too..

ever since i pass the 21 years old mark, people around me kept asking do i have a boyfriend? why do i not have a boyfriend? when will i get one? well, my answer is, as much as i would like to have one, doesn't mean i will GET one. its not as simple as going to the supermarket and get urself a yogurt. come to think of it, if only its that easy, probably i wouldn't feel so tired at such a moment, especially emotionally wise.

but again, i came to realise that love isnt everything, but yet one cannot live completely without love. so contridicting. why cant life ever be simple and straight forward as ABC?

the pain from my wisdom tooth and ulcer is causing my brain to go hay-wire. and then again, its not a bad thing to be emo once in a while. bleh...finish reading it? i think ur brain is hay-wire too reading to this post. ESPECIALLY this post!

:)))

life is not about taking the easy route. Its about meeting challenges and overcoming it. It always has been.

If you think that your life right now is very hard to manage and balance, then i seriously suggest you giving up on 1 of those things that is making you suffer now. But if you do not want to give up on any of them, then stop whimpering about how hard your life is now. It is FREAKING annoying and irritating to hear them, because just in case you don't realise, we are living that kind of life too. But unlike you, we learned to manage our work and personal life.

I might sound mean, but this is how i feel. Take it the bad way, i do not really care any further. Why? because i have already been disappointed so much that I'm already numb by it.

Think about it, if you still cherish our friendship, you would know what to do.

hai..its just the 3rd month of 2010 and i'm already feeling so tired. Been seeing doctor almost once a week?? this is so bad man..i think my only sense of taste now is MEDICINE!! yikes!!
maybe i should add this in my resolution for this year * stay healthy and don't see doctor* ya well..like that will help. i guess like my doc says..no matter how many times i see him or how much medicine he gives me, what's important is i MUST get enough rest. which i'm not.

perhaps a short holiday will help? or shopping?? hahaha..i'm imaginating too much now.

4 assignments to go, all not done. 1 freaking conference coming up and what else? Never ending work and always demanding parents? this is really sickening. I love my job.it gives me a sense of satisfaction when i see the children benefiting from the changes i made in the school's program. but the ever demanding parents on teeny weeny stuff just keeps burning off my patience and passion. How?? i also don't know :(

Finally, I'm updating again..well..as usual..new year new resolutions..looking back at my wishlist for last year..i don't think i even accomplished even 1. that's really pathetic.. But still, new Wishlist..

My MUST accomplised wishlist for 2010

1) GET a boyfriend-( everyone including my mom has been pestering me about this issue) :(
2) Get my driving license.
3) Slim Down (hehe..same every year)
4) Be consistent in my dance classes!!
5) Holiday!!!! anywhere also can (other than malaysia)
6)finish my degree without any problems (Praying hard)

that's all for now.. you can only accomplish this much in a year. I'm no superwoman. :D

Anyway...GONG XI FA CAI to all my Loved ones, Friends and others..
Sorry for not able to invite you guys to my house this year..next year though..:)

human beings are just contridicting and complicated animals. and i'm one of them..

"Happy" by Leona Lewis

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't cha take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't cha love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

Chorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear myself
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
All these days I feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
Watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So and it's just that I can't see
The kind of stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

I guess this song is the closest in expressing how i feel and see things right now.
I guess that's just life..people come and go. some stay some leave.

*I miss you badly.though things will never the same between us anymore.but i still care and hope the best for you. *

I've decided....and realise...

life is short, especially life being a single woman..:)

I enjoy my life being single. the freedom to hang out with people and the time to do things that i wanna do.

so yap.. decided..for now..being single is my choice..

only IF.. the right guy that makes me wants to settle down appears..then maybe, its time to change my status..:)

i'm hibernating in my work life and personal life. Can't seem to identify my goals anymore. How? i don't like the feeling of being so lost and lethargic in everything that i'm doing, suppose to do and wanting to do.

i can't even bring out my passion in the things i love to do. dance. i actually skipped it cause i'm tired and lazy and well..sick too.but i use to go even when i'm not feeling well..

and i heard alot about the degree course that i will be taking from a friend. Its just makes me look so least forward to it. all the assignments and research and reading to do. Its giving me headache even before i start.

I don't know. What am i suppose to do? Now, I just want to slack around at home and daydream the whole day. It is a crime for wanting to do that? Yes i think so. :(

...PROFILEEE

KELLY
twenty-one
27/07/1988
insensitive