i'm trying my very best to stand back on my feet again..really trying very hard..its not as simple as i thought it was going to be..but it isn't as difficult as i thought it will be too..i doing my best at work, trying to be responsible to my job..plan my lessons ahead, prepare my materials properly, improvise my teaching methods. and it actually turned out well..and satisfying for me..

well..as a punishment for my misconduct previously, i now proudly announced that i'm sick..seriously sick..high fever, puffy nose and a bad sore throat. plus all the back aches and terrible headache i'm going through right now at this very moment. i've been sleeping for the whole day and i don't feel any better, and instead i have carvings for Macdonalds. haha..i seriously don't want my life le..

i'm now keeping myself busy, enriching myself with new knowlegdes, expanding my social circle and learning how to love myself more. i hope i can accomplish all this..not giving myself any time limits..but at least i will...

alright, i think i too seriously sick, because i have no idea what i mean by those stuff that i've just typed..so..if u understand..it'll be great..alright..i'm talking crap again..
ciaos...

i'm seriously getting my headache back again..why must it always be like that...damm..i really really feel like running away from everything..anyone care to join me?

my mood is like my face and is like the weather nowadays..cloudy, black and lousy.. full of thunders and rain..i need some sunshine and rainbows in my life..anyone care to help? i always thought that i'm a strong at heart kind of girl..nothing can make me fall..but i'm wrong..ever heard that the worst enemy in your life is yourself?? now i totally believe in that..

i think i once told my friends that i'm planning of going to america to study next year..what if i push it earlier? what if i never come back anymore? what if i can just disappear from this earth..i know that its very pessimistic of me to think this way..but maybe..life really means nothing to me anymore..nothing means to me anymore..even myself..

many times my tears are at the verge of rushing out..i held back..many times i nearly lost control of myself..i held back..many times i wanted to harm myself by all means..i held back..perhaps for once..i shall not hold back any longer..

to all who cares:
i've made my decision.. its really time to let go...like i said..telling and telling makes no difference to me..telling not only spoils a couples relationship, but also my integrity..maybe keeping it as a mystery might not be a bad decision.. i believe that there is that someone who truely belongs to me..so..instead of loving and hoping for someone who is not meant for me, i rather give up and wait for my meant to be..

giving up someone u like is difficult, but holding on to the love that is not meant to be is even more torturing..i rather give up than torture myself..i believe that i deserve my own happiness..

and thanks to all who tagged and cared for me..love u guys..!!

i'm confused...seriously confused..my life is in a mess..my feelings are in a mess..i'm in a mess..who am i kidding? i can't take it any longer...can i run away?? i really have that urge of running to a faraway country..at least for a while..before coming back and face the cool fact of reality..can i??i think i should..really should..

...PROFILEEE

KELLY
twenty-one
27/07/1988
insensitive