i need space..i need love..i'm a distressed child..i need someone to help pull me out from this pool of mess i'm in..i think i'm really really in love with u..but the love for u is making my heart tear into pieces..so much time i've wanted to tell u how i feel..but the thought of affecting u and ur girlfriend jest made me swallow my words back..can i tell u?? can i just tell u how much i missed u and how much i love u..can i tell u how much i've regretted letting u go time and time again..i'm such an idiot..will telling u all these make a difference in our present status? i never knew loving someone can be so difficult..so heartbreaking.. i want to escape..i want to go to a new place and start all over again..i really want to..really really want to..i want to live again..start all over again..i can't explain how i feel now..i can't even explain when do i have this kind of feeling now..help!!

i'm being ignored..i'm being ignored..this is certainly not a very good feeling to have..when i suddenly realised that i might actually be in love with u all this time..u chose to avoid me..intentionally or unintentionally..u've already hurt and broke my heart..

~~~~~~~~my heart needs mending~~~~~~~~

chinese new year...chinese new year..it doesn't feels the same anymore as i grow older..not to say the number of red packets i'm receiving..but even what it meant to me feels different..
but still..it's a chinese tradition that all chinese look forward to..(at least it is to me)

i miss my twin..i miss my life..i miss everything everything...i've decided..after my practicum, i'm not gonna continue working anymore..working and studying just can't work out for me..call me lazy..but it's just to tiring for me..and i just simply miss life being a full-time student..money?? i'll just go find a sugar daddy..haha..i'm going nuts..after i'm done with my diploma here in singapore..i'm going to convince my dad to let me go to America to study for my degree..maybe its really time for me to take a stand in my life..i can't let my parents take control of what i'm going to do in the future..this is my life..and i only live once..isn't it??

but the thought of breaking their heart, i just can't bear to do so..GOD!! who can help me..be decisive..even if this is a selfish decision of mine..i just want to be selfish for once..for myself..i dun wan to have any regrets when i grow old..yup...i shall do that...hopefully..........

*to my twin*
i'm really really upset, angry but at the same time worried, sad and alot of other emotions that i've never felt before.. when u told me that u wanted to tell me something, i thought u're not feeling well again..but i never thought that it will be this kind of news..u really just dropped a bomb on me..without any warnings or notices made in advance..from the moment u told me the "news".. i felt shocked, curious, confused, sad, worried and heartbreaking..i dunno whether to treat this as a good news or a bad news..i kept thinking..how come..this kind of things would happen on u..u have never been that kind of girl who would have this kind of things..how come? i keep thinking and i keep crying..i dunno why..my tears just keep falling for u..i'm not disappointed..i'm not mad..i just want to let u know that my words stand as before.. "No matter what happens, i will always be there for u.." please just give me a call..i want to hear ur voice.. i want to hear u saying u're okie..u can't do this to me can u?? i'll be waiting for ur call..

...PROFILEEE

KELLY
twenty-one
27/07/1988
insensitive